Disclaimer: excuse my language for today…
“Fuck Facebook!” exploded online one of my girlfriends. “That’s how I have to find out that my cousin just died in a motorcycle accident? Amidst of browsing Facebook out of boredom? What happened to people who call the family first…!”
We are all aware of how social media cut the human touch. My friend’s anger hit home with me as I vividly remembered the boiling disappointment from my birthday in June, when it was only my absolutely closest family who called to wish happiness and love … everyone else just left a message on my Facebook wall – and that consisting of “hb”.
I was furious. Noone lives so fast that they can’t spend one minute to write a more personal message. If that’s all you muster, you can skip me next year, thank you very much.
Of course, I am as well guilty of wishing happy birthday over the Facebook, as the reminders there just stare at you and it’s so easy to click and leave a couple of good words. But everyone can confirm that I try to make it personal and different.
And there are simple ways to fix it!
1. Better late then never
We are all guilty of procrastinating so long the phone call at an important occasion that it seems inappropriate to call at all. That’s just plain wrong, because good wishes always count! Humans are exceptionally understanding animals. Trust me.
2. Make your message personal
Send a card. Send a nice email. Send a nice sms. Send a nice Facebook message. Send whatever, but make the effort to stand out from the flock of HB sheep.
3. Choose wisely
Just because you befriended this online persona 5 years ago doesn’t mean you have to wish them happy birthday or interfere in other private affairs of their lives. And if you are not sure how to make the distinction, choose people who you want to congratulate simply – would you send them a letter of condolences? If not, you are not that close.
4. Become old fashioned
At important occasions sending FB message or sms is bordering on lame. Sending a real card is much better, but wouldn’t it feel best if on your birthday a friend would call to take you out for an ice-cream? Or to see an exhibition together?
Granted, the connectivity made it all easier for certain people, such as long-distance relationships. The times, when someone had to wait three weeks to get an answer to a letter, are gone. For better or worse. True love surely gets big help from being able to stay in touch cheaply and daily. But I remember high school and the anxiety of hanging around our land-line when I hoped some guy, who I loved that week, would call. I can’t imagine the agony that today’s teenage kids are going through when they are guarding their cell phones, paralyzed by waiting … (ok I might be a little dramatic here, but a word of wisdom anyways, switch off the phone and go fishing, at that age guys don’t usually call.)
Bright example of the advantages for long-distance relationships are in my images today. As many of my clients, these two girls fell in love online, but exceptionally they continue living their relationship online for most of the year when separated by an ocean. When they get the chance to be together, they plan the precious time to the last unsquandered minute. I feel lucky to be one of their plans. Though one wanted romantic set up in the fields and the other urban glass and steel, we managed to find a compromise and work it out for both. I loved watching them unfold their emotions, from being guarded and cautious to being playful and just plain happy. And did we have a blast!
Thank you, ladies, for the amazing evening, I will be there for your wedding! Remember: Amor vincit omnia! ♥♥♥
Make up: Anne Rautio
Poem: Beauty that is never old by James Weldon Johnson (excerpt)
PS: I have a grand location similar to the one above for a open field shoot with a family or a couple in love – book your time now before the late summer/early autumn light will be gone!